I've been doing a lot of reading on inner psychology and spiritualityrecently and I have noticed something that has reduced my approachanxiety like 90%.The idea is that of surrendering to the moment.I never really bought into the idea that approach anxiety and LMR arehardwired, my thinking behind this is two-fold through experiencerather than theorizing.1. After you have done three or so approaches in a night the AA isgone. I have also met guys like Debonair Dave who don't haveapproach anxiety.2. I have had a lot of lays upwards of 20 with no LMR within an houror 2... So how can this hard-wired thinking pattern be turned off thismany times?So I've been actively looking at the reasons behind both of thesecreated phenomenas...Back to surrendering... to me approach anxiety has always felt like afight between wanting to get the girl and wanting to avoidembarrassment (that was a couple years ago) or avoid having to do alot of work. So there were clearly two conflicting drives.S o in reading The Power of Now Eckhart Tolle talks about letting goof both the past and the future and focusing purely on the present.This piece of advice in of itself reduced my approach anxiety,because if you truly do let go of past thinking, it doesn't allow you tothink about past failures, or your lack of success with women orreasons from before not to approach the set, because that is notoccuring here and now. Here and now you have nothing. In a bar orclub or on the street or wherever you ay want to do an approach youonly have the present. Nothing else matters. Her reaction is in thefuture, so there is no reason to worry about that either. When you goin the field you need to be hyper focused on the present. Don't thinkfollow the strongest desire you have.If you are reading this, then the strongest desire you have is to meetand fuck new women. Don't be ashamed of this desire. It's the onlydesire that keeps us as a species surviving. A lot of guys hide theirdesires, (A qui ck caveat obviously you don't approach a girl and askher if she wants to fuck that's not showing you're desires, it's justshowing your lack of social intuition) But what I mean is don't hideyour desires internally. It is a vital step in becoming a man to come togrips with the dark sides of your desires. Mainly your desires to fuck,kill, and dominate. These are natural human emotions that haveshaped the world; in a way they are the only desires that actuallymatter.The second part of my technique is to surrender to your desires. Stopfighting them... Accept that you feel Approach Anxiety at the sametime you feel the desire to approach, stop trying to feel moreconfident or stronger, or more prepared, and start focusing on whatyou WANT to do right now. In this moment when you see that girl,what do you most want to do that won't land you in jail.All that in fighting in your mind that clutter has NOTHING to do withreality. The present is all you have and as was said in Fight Club " This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time". You can't doanything to change the past and the way to changing the future willoccur in the present.So after you have come to the realization that the present is all wehave, and surrender the fight amongst your emotions, you gain thepower to approach almost without fear.The final step to AA reduction in my mind is to let go of your outcome,this falls in line with the other areas of thinking in terms of anyoutcome occurring in the future and thus being completelyunimportant at the time...Tony Robbins calls acting in the moment getting out of your head intoyour heart. I think it's more about gaining an element of control overyourself and not letting thinking or "the mind" to get in the way ofaction. Actions are what produce results not thinking. Thinkingwithout acting has never produced anything. Even philosophy lead tothe action of writing which is what produced the records of thesethoughts.So how do you actually start on the road to getting out of your headand acting?The first step is to become aware of what you are feeling at any givenmoment. Reducing the amount of white noise in your head byshutting off the deductive thought process and focusing on bodysensations. What do you feel right now from your head to your toes?Feel that and then slowly start taking assessment of your mood.When you can start to identify your mood through feeling, rather thanthinking, you are on your way to being fully present in the momentwhich allows you to act without filtering.
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