Facebook - Relationships - Dating

First, you have to look at your mutual friends. Obviously, you couldnt be looking at her profile if you dont have a mutual friend. Youre not cruising Facebook youre just looking through other peoples friends.

Joe Smith sends you a friend request, and you dont know him, so you look at his friends. You see Mary Thompson is one of his friends, and you add her as a friend.

And of course Mary Thompson confirms you as a friend because the internet is a fucking popularity contest and everyone wants a lot of friends! Facebook and MySpace are like having 5,000 friends that you never talk to! They could give a fuck about me, but they are still all of my buddies.

But when I show up as their happy friend, it makes them feel popular. Being on the internet is like regressing back to junior high school. Dont you feel bad on Facebook when you see someone with like two friends? You think to yourself, oh, what a loser, hes got two friends! Its ridiculous; its such a popularity contest.

So anyway, you go to this womans profile and add her as a friend. She will always add you, and then you send her an email.

Subject line: Man, Joe knew we would be

I always like the dot-dot-dot because when it comes down to marketing yourself, you have to think like a business. Most people in the subject line of an email write hello. What the fuck, hello? Delete.

But you know when you get good junk email, and you swear that you dont want to open it, and when you do open it, youre like, oh shit, I got caught again! How did you get caught? They had a good subject line, right? So your subject line has to be something good that will make her want to open your email.

And then the body of the email: that we would be great friends, so I added you. So now that youre my really good friend, can you help me out with one thing? Who the hell is Joe Smith? He just appeared one day as my friend, and Im hoping you can hope me unlock the mystery of Joe Smith.

You do the smiley face so that she knows that you are funny and clever.

Shes going to open it, giggle and laugh, and shes going to answer you back. You just became her buddy. Then your messages will go back and forth just like any other email exchange.

You have to get clever. Most guys are so bad at emailing.

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