Bruises were a thing that your mother could fix with a simple kiss, or by giving you some cookies and milk. They weren't something that affected you as a person mentally. They didn't feel like emptiness and helplessness inside of you. Why do humans feel the need for someone? Why do I need a person in my life? Why can't I be self sufficient? It just doesn't work. Everyone would rather wake up to the warm breath of someone they love slowly rippling across their neck, as their heartbeat turns into your favorite song. No matter how much of a cynical asshole you are, deep down, everyone wants someone of their own. With 196 countries in the world, and over 6 billion people, you'd think it'd be easy to find your other half. It's not. Every fucking person in your life is going to hurt you. Every single human being that ever becomes close with you is going to leave a bruise in your heart one way or the other. Love is something I could never understand. If it was a chemical equa tion, I wouldn't understand it, because I'm not good at chemistry. If it were a math problem, I still wouldn't understand it, because I'm horrible at math. How does love have the power to make humans sacrifice everything they ever lived for in their life for one individual? What kind of fuckery is this? If you were to write a thesis for love, how would you word it? The dictionary definition for love is "An intense feeling of deep affection." Love to me isn't intense, nor is it a feeling. To me, love is like as key to our body as is the digestive system. Love is an organ in your body, instead of vitamins in minerals you need that "feeling", you need that person, they are your vitamins in minerals, the cliche kiss before you leave for work in the morning, that is a part of your nutritious balanced love breakfast. Now, the bad part of love. Love is like a beautiful darkness. There are examples of beautiful darkness in love everywhere. Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah, and countless other examples. Love can fucking kill you. Love will bring you to the point where you are hopeless, to the point where you'll do anything just to touch-- forget touch; smell the person you love. Your lover isn't giving you shit. When you think about it, they just talk, console, care, fuck... they do everything a human being needs without using any money. This is why we do the most ridiculous things. My own brother has a girlfriend who he's been dating since his freshman year in high school, and they are still together, 6 years strong. For their age, 6 years is amazing, but what stuns me more is that they live on different damn continents. Yet they still make it work, they still love each other, but they do get the occasional distance heart ache. I envy people like them. It seems like every obstacle that comes in between their love just makes their love grow stronger. Like every obstacle is wood, and their fiery love grows stronger with every wooden obstacle. I my self have experienced love. I've also experienced heart break. I fucking hated it. All I can say is, writing this essay gave me another internal bruise. I've got bruises from falling for you all the time, though, I haven't met you yet.
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